At the end of the last session you were asked to think about what you might think, say and do if someone stared at you, ignored you or asked questions about your appearance.
The point of this exercise is to encourage you to start thinking about what type of responses are helpful (or positive) in these situations and what responses might be unhelpful (or negative).
Let’s start by looking at what you could think if someone looks at you, turns away from you and ignores you.
Here are some examples of positive thoughts:
Here are some examples of negative thoughts:
These are only a few examples, but the point is to try and consider the way you respond to other people.
Do you tend to think the worst of people? Look at your own example:
Is it positive or negative? How do you normally think in such a situation?
If you tend to think positively you are well on the way to success. If you tend to think negatively then perhaps it’s time to try a bit of positive thinking
Next time you are in a similar situation, try to take a step back and think positively. If the first thought that pops into your head is negative, stop yourself, think about what happened, question your negative thought. Was the person really staring and turning away or just looking about? Even if they were looking at you, were they thinking something horrible about you?
Now let’s look at 2 things to say if people ask “what happened to you?”
A helpful thing to say might be:
An unhelpful thing to say might be:
Again these are only examples, but can you see the difference?
The positive responses allow you to put an end to the topic without offending anyone or without making yourself look cross, unfriendly or anxious. The negative responses in these situations suggest that you are angry or very anxious.
Either way it’ll make socialising more difficult.
Look at your own examples.
Are they positive or negative? What do you normally say in such a situation?
If you tend to respond positively, then you’re well on the way to success.
If you tend to respond negatively then perhaps it’s time to try out something new.
We’ll talk about these in more detail in this session.
Next time you’re in a similar situation, try to take a step back, take a deep breath, and respond more positively.
Try and think about why the person is asking. Were they doing it to be rude, or were they just curious?
Finally, let’s look at what to do if people stare
There are many thing you can do if this happens.
Helpful things might be:
- Smile
- Wave
- Ignore them
- Say ‘hello’
- Make a funny face
Unhelpful responses might be:
- Have an argument with the person
- Start fidgeting and behaving anxiously
- Become angry
- Run away
Helpful responses allow you to come out of the situation without making it worse. Unhelpful responses either make your life more difficult or draw more attention to you.
Look at your own examples.
Are they positive or negative? What do you do if you catch someone staring at you?
If you tend to respond positively, then you are well on the way to success.
If you tend to respond more negatively then perhaps it is time to try out something new. We’ll talk about these more in this session.
If you didn’t complete this activity, don’t forget to complete the next activities over the coming weeks, remember they are an important part of Face It and practice will definitely help.
Congratulations on completing this activity!
Hopefully you’ll have found it useful and will understand the point behind it. If you struggled with it or you’re not sure what the point of it was, try having another go.
If you’re still not sure please email the Face IT team on: info@faceitonline.org.uk
How helpful did you find the activity?
Please take a couple of minutes to fill out the questionnaire below.
Thanks for completing the questionnaire. If you would like to give us more feedback about the activity please enter your opinions below.
