You chose option 1

Response: Thinking that someone finds you unusual might make you feel sad and unhappy. You try to carry on the conversation with your friends, but you can’t stop thinking about what just happened.

Reaction: Eventually the feeling of wanting to be alone becomes so strong that you leave your friends and go home.

Result: Your friends don’t know what’s wrong and may think you’re being unsociable. This experience may make you feel like avoiding social events like this in the future.

Other responses:

The most helpful response would have been either 3 or 4.

Don’t worry that you’ve chosen this solution. The point of this exercise is to make you question the way that you think. Can you see that a negative thought can make the situation worse?

Next time you’re in a similar situation remember this example and consider this advice.

If you ignore the person who’s staring you can stay in control of the situation. If you think ‘oh well, he’s not staring to be rude, just doesn’t know any better’ you can stay positive and avoid getting cross or anxious.

See what would have happened if you had chosen another option.

You chose option 2

Response: Becoming angry because someone is staring at you can lead to aggressive behaviour. You could become so angry that you decide to go up to him and let him know how angry you are.

Reaction: The man might respond negatively and your friends may be embarrassed.

Result: Although you might feel better for a moment or to, in the longer term, you probably won’t feel better for getting cross with the man and may feel embarrassed too. Your behaviour will probably draw more attention to yourself in a negative way.

If you respond in this way its more likely that you’ll want to avoid social events like this in the future.

Other responses:

The most helpful response would have been either 3 or 4.

Don’t worry that you have chosen this solution. The point of this exercise is to make you question the way that you think. Can you see that a negative thought can make the situation worse?

Next time you’re in a similar situation remember this example and consider this advice.

If you ignore the person who is staring you can stay in control of the situation. If you think ‘oh well, he’s not staring to be rude, he just doesn’t know any better’ you can stay positive and avoid getting cross or anxious.

See what would have happened if you had chosen another option.

You chose option 3

Response: You think that the staring man doesn’t mean you any harm. You smile at him, and although he’s embarrassed because he has been caught out, he returns the smile and looks away.

Reaction: You should feel pleased with yourself. That situation could have made you very aggressive or anxious, but instead you handled it well. You feel that you could handle a situation like this again in the future.

Result: You know that with practice you’ll feel far more confident.

Well done, you have controlled your anxiety in this situation!

Other responses:

The most positive response would have been either 3 or 4.

Well done for choosing option 3.

Just remember that your response depends partly on your own confidence and the situation. If the staring man was looking at you aggressively, then smiling may not have been so appropriate, and ignoring him may have been better.

If you don’t feel confident enough to smile, then just ignore him. The point of the exercise is to find a technique that is right for you and the situation.

If you ignore the person who is staring you can stay in control of the situation. If you think ‘oh well, he’s not staring to be rude, he just doesn’t know any better’ you can stay positive and avoid getting cross or anxious.

See what would have happened if you had chosen another option.

You chose option 4

Response: You carry on talking to your friends. You look up a couple of minutes later and the man is no longer looking at you.

Reaction: You feel pleased with yourself for not allowing the man to get to you. That situation could have made you very aggressive or anxious, but instead you handled it well. You feel that you could handle a situation like this again in the future.

Result: You know that with practice you’ll feel far more confident.

Well done, you have controlled your anxiety in this situation!

Other responses:

The most positive response would have been either 3 or 4.

Well done for choosing option 4.

Just remember that your response depends partly on your own confidence and the situation. If the staring man was looking at you in a concerned manner, then smiling may have been more appropriate in order to help put him at ease.

If you do feel more confident then smiling may be a better response, but if you are unsure, ignoring him is a good choice. The point of the exercise is to find out what’s right for you and for the situation.

If you ignore the person who is staring you can stay in control of the situation. If you think ‘oh well, he’s not staring to be rude, just doesn’t know any better’ you can stay positive and avoid getting cross or anxious.

See what would have happened if you had chosen another option.

You chose option 1

Response: Thinking that someone is only asking about your condition because they’re trying to understand, helps you feel less threatened by their question. You quickly explain what has happened to you, and then change the conversation to another topic. He may be a bit embarrassed that he’s asked but is put at ease by your response and the conversation carries on as before.

Reaction: The strangers in the group are relieved. They were all embarrassed by the questions you were asked, and are impressed by how well you handled it. You feel that the situation has gone well, and would have more confidence next time.

Result: You join the group who think it would be good to get to know you better and talk to you some more. Well done you haven’t allowed your anxiety to get in the way and have dealt with the situation positively.

Other responses:

The most helpful response would have been either 1 or 4. Well done for choosing option 1. Just remember that the response depends partly on your own confidence and the situation. If you don’t feel confident enough to discuss what’s caused your condition, then simply try to change the subject.

Try telling the person that it is nothing and it happened a long time ago. Explain that you don’t want to talk about it, but that it’s OK that they asked. But if you don’t mind talking about it, give people a quick explanation of what happened, and reassure them that it doesn’t hurt. Try making a joke out of it if you feel confident enough. Sometimes talking about your appearance before anyone else does is a good way of avoiding someone else bringing it up and surprising you.

The point of the exercise is to find what’s right for you and the situation. Changing the conversation lets you stay in control, and if you remain polite, it calmly shows that you don’t want to discuss the topic any further. Also by explaining and reassuring them you can stay positive and you can avoid any arguments or anxiety.

See what would have happened if you had chosen another option.

You chose option 2

Response: Thinking that someone finds you different might make you feel upset and sad. You try to tell him what happened, but you mumble and look at the ground. Everyone realises how uncomfortable you are. The person who asked the question may feel embarrassed and may not know what to say. The group may also feel embarrassed and the conversation might stop.

Reaction: You eventually leave the queue. It was too uncomfortable to stay and carry on with the conversation.

Result: Because things didn’t go well this time, you’re more likely to want to avoid these situations in the future.

Other responses:

The most positive response would have been either 1 or 4.

Don’t worry that you have chosen this option. The point of this exercise is to make you question the way that you think. Can you see that a negative thought can make the situation worse? Next time you are in a similar situation remember this example and think about this advice.

Changing the conversation lets you stay in control, and if you remain polite, it calmly shows that you don’t want to discuss the topic any further. Also by explaining and reassuring them you can stay positive and you can avoid any arguments or anxiety.

See what would have happened if you had chosen another option.

You chose option 3

Response: Becoming angry because someone has asked you a personal question can lead to aggressive behaviour. You become so angry with him that you decide to get cross with him. He might be embarrassed or get cross too.

Reaction: Getting cross probably won’t make you feel better in the long run. You’ve drawn attention to yourself and might feel embarrassed. You might find it’s all too much and leave the queue.

Result: Because things haven’t gone well this time, you’re more likely to want to avoid these situations in the future.

Other responses:

The most positive response would have been either 1 or 4.

Don’t worry that you have chosen this solution. The point of this exercise is to make you question the way that you think. Can you see that a negative thought can make the situation worse? Next time you are in a similar situation remember this example and think about this advice. So advice:

Changing the conversation lets you stay in control, and if you remain polite, it calmly shows that you don’t want to discuss the topic any further. Also by explaining and reassuring them you can stay positive and you can avoid any arguments or anxiety.

See what would have happened if you had chosen another option.

You chose option 4

Response: Thinking that someone is only asking about your condition out of curiosity, because they feel sorry for you, or because they are worried for you, makes you feel less threatened by their question. You quickly explain what’s happened to you, and explain that it doesn’t hurt. He responds ‘that’s tough’ and then changes the subject.

Reaction: He is put at ease by your response and the strangers in the group are relieved. They were all embarrassed by the question and were impressed with your response.

Result: You feel that the situation has gone well, and you would have more confidence if it happened again. You haven’t allowed your anxiety to get in the way and have dealt with the situation positively. You’ve used your body language to show that you are friendly, confident and in control. Well done you’ve controlled your anxiety in this situation!

Other responses:

The most positive response would have been either 1 or 4. Well done for choosing option 4.

Just remember that the response depends partly on your own confidence and the situation. If you don’t feel confident enough to discuss what has caused your condition, then simply try to change the subject. Try telling the person that it is nothing and it happened a long time ago. Explain that you don’t want to talk about it, but that it is ok that they asked. Or try talking about your appearance before someone else does, perhaps by making a joke. Sometimes talking about your appearance before anyone else does is a good way of avoiding someone else bringing it up and surprising you. The point of this exercise is to find what’s right for you and the situation.

Changing the conversation lets you stay in control, and if you remain polite, it calmly shows that you don’t want to discuss the topic any further. Also by explaining and reassuring them you can stay positive and you can avoid any arguments or anxiety.

See what would have happened if you had chosen another option.

You chose option 1

Response: You return to the ticket officer and make a small comment: “don’t worry it isn’t catching!” and smile at him. The ticket officer is very embarrassed and his colleague thinks it’s funny. He’s been shown up and will think twice about doing that again. You feel glad to have made a point, but also pleased that you’ve not made a scene – no one else has noticed what you did.

Reaction: You should feel pleased with yourself. That situation could have made you very angry or anxious, but instead you handled it in a way that didn’t leave you feeling angry. The ticket officer will probably be more careful about what he says in the future!

Result: You’re more likely to feel that you could handle a situation like this again in the future. You know that with practice you’ll feel far more confident. Well done you’ve managed the situation in a positive way for you and the ticket officer.

Other responses:

The most helpful response would have been either 1 or 2. Well done for choosing option 1. Just remember that the response depends partly on your own confidence and the situation. If the ticket officer was looking at you in a concerned manner, then smiling would put him at ease and would have been more helpful than making a comment. But if the ticket officer appeared aggressive, it may have been better just to walk away and ignore it.

The point of the exercise is to find a technique that is right for you and appropriate to the situation. If you consider these factors, you will soon feel more confident at dealing with strangers in public.

If you ignore the person who is making the comment and think positive thoughts, you can learn to stay in control of the situation. If you let them know you’ve noticed what they’ve done but don’t get angry or stressed you can become more confident and make a point at the same time.

See what would have happened if you had chosen another option.

You chose option 2

Response: You choose to ignore the ticket officer and dismiss the incident as silly. If the ticket officer wants to stay in his job, he’d better learn to be a bit more thoughtful! You join your friends and enjoy what turns out to be a very good film.

Reaction: You should feel proud of yourself. That situation could easily have made you feel aggressive or anxious, but instead you handled it well.

Result: You’re more likely to feel that you could handle a situation like this again in the future. You know that with practice you’ll feel far more confident. Well done you’ve managed your anxiety in a way that has enabled you to enjoy the rest of the day.

Other responses:

The most helpful response would have been either 1 or 2. Well done for choosing option 2.

Just remember that the response depends partly on your own confidence and the situation. If the ticket officer was looking at you in a concerned manner, then smiling would put him at ease.

If you felt more confident you could have chosen to make a quick funny comment to put the ticket officer in his place. However, if the man appeared aggressive, it may be better just to walk away and ignore it.

The point of the exercise is to find what’s right for you and the situation. If you ignore the person who is making the comment and think positive thoughts, you can learn to stay in control of the situation.

If you let them know you’ve noticed what they’ve done, but don’t get angry or stressed, you can become more confident and make a point at the same time.

See what would have happened if you had chosen another option.

You chose option 3

Response: You carry on walking towards your friends. You turn to look at the ticket officer and he’s staring at you. You become increasingly anxious and feel as though everyone is looking at you.

Reaction: You spend the rest of the night thinking about what happened and going over it in your mind. You don’t talk to your friends about it and because you stop talking and being involved, they might think that you don’t want to be there.

Result: Your friends might worry about you or think that you’re being unsociable. Because you felt so upset you may feel like avoiding going out in the future.

Other responses:

The most helpful response would have been either 1 or 2.

Can you see that a negative thought can make the situation worse?

Next time you’re in a similar situation remember this example and consider this advice:

If you ignore the person who’s making the comment and think positive thoughts, you can learn to stay in control of the situation. If you let them know you’ve noticed what they’ve done but don’t get angry or stressed you can become more confident and make a point at the same time.

See what would have happened if you had chosen another option.

You chose option 4

Response: You turn round and return to the ticket desk. You start having an argument with the ticket officer. He becomes quite aggressive. By this point everyone in the foyer is looking at you and your friends are very embarrassed by your response.

Reaction: You probably won’t feel better for having confronted the man and might just feel embarrassed too.

Result: Your friends might worry about you or think that you’re being anti-social. Because you felt stressed about the incident you may feel like avoiding going out in the future.

Other responses:

The most helpful response would have been either 1 or 2.

Don’t worry that you’ve chosen this solution. The point of this exercise is to make you question the way that you think. Can you see that a negative thought can make the situation worse?

Next time you are in a similar situation remember this example and consider this advice:

If you ignore the person who is making the comment and think positive thoughts, you can learn to stay in control of the situation. If you let them know you’ve noticed what they’ve done but don’t get angry or stressed you can become more confident and make a point at the same time.

See what would have happened if you had chosen another option.

You chose option 1

Response: Because you’re upset you may start behaving very angry and cross towards them, or you may ignore them or show that you don’t like them.

Reaction: They’re probably not sure what they’ve done to upset you. They may get really fed up with your behaviour and eventually give up trying to be nice.

Result: If you behave like this you’re more likely to be left out or ignored by them.

Other responses:

The most helpful response would have been either 2 or 3.

Don’t worry that you’ve chosen this option. The point of this exercise is to make you question the way that you think. Can you see that a negative thought can make the situation worse?

Next time you are in a similar situation remember this example and consider this advice.

Don’t be too quick to assume that everything negative that happens is due to your appearance – this is not necessarily the case.

By thinking positively, you can learn to handle social situations more effectively.

See what would have happened if you had chosen another option.

You chose option 2

Response: You decide to ignore the issue of the invitation. Later, one of your colleagues explains that it was organised by someone you don’t know who works somewhere else.

Reaction: After having chatted for a while, they realise how easy you are to get along with. They make a mental note to invite you next time.

Result: Work is more enjoyable and you’ve increased your chances of making new friends. You know that if you practice positive thinking you’ll feel far more confident. Well done you’ve managed your anxiety in a way that has enabled you to enjoy the rest of the day.

Other responses:

The most helpful response would have been either 2 or 3. Well done for choosing option 2. In this situation it’s important not to jump to conclusions. Just remember that your response depends partly on your own confidence and the situation. If you feel confident enough, try discussing the situation with your colleagues. There can be many reasons why you’ve not been invited.

Don’t be too quick to assume that everything negative that happens is due to your appearance – this is not necessarily the case. By thinking positively, you can learn to handle social situations more effectively.

See what would have happened if you had chosen another option.

You chose option 3

Response: You decide to make more of an effort to be friendly with your colleagues. You start to talk to them more often.

Reaction: They realise how easy you are to talk to and think they’ll invite you next time there’s a social event. You feel pleased that you didn’t jump to the wrong conclusion.

Result: You enjoy going to work and have increased your chances of making new friends. You know that with practice you’ll feel far more confident. Well done you’ve managed your anxiety in a way that has enabled you to enjoy the rest of the day.

Other responses:

The most positive response would have been either 2 or 3.

Well done for choosing option 3.

In this situation it’s important not to jump to conclusions. Just remember that your response depends partly on your own confidence and the situation. If you feel confident enough, try discussing the situation with your colleagues. There can be many reasons why you’ve not been invited.

Don’t be too quick to assume that everything negative that happens is due to your appearance – this is not necessarily the case. By thinking positively, you can learn to handle social situations more effectively.

See what would have happened if you had chosen another option.

You chose option 4

Response: This thought may make you feel self-conscious, anxious or and may make you feel that you’re not very good at anything, especially making friends. You might not talk to anyone, and because you’re anxious you may avoid eye contact or look at the floor when people talk to you.

Reaction: People may like you, but feel that you’re not very sociable. Your anxiety may make people feel uncomfortable around you.

Result: This situation is likely to make you feel more anxious and lonely.

Other responses:

The most helpful response would have been either 2 or 3.

Don’t worry that you’ve chosen this option. The point of this exercise is to make you question the way that you think. Can you see that a negative thought can make the situation worse?

Don’t be too quick to assume that everything negative that happens is due to your appearance – this is not necessarily the case. By thinking positively, you can learn to handle social situations more effectively.

See what would have happened if you had chosen another option.